Summer fun- aka "we have done pretty much nothing"

We have had a really quiet summer- we are still being careful due to COVID , so not much going on.  The boy has gone out with friends and we did celebrate his 16th birthday early (due to sports schedules and work schedules).   He wanted to go go-kart racing, so I took him and a bunch of friends.  They had a good time driving around the race track and eating snacks and then throwing axes.

The boy also got his temp driver's license.  He has to drive with an adult and still has to take drivers education classes.  So far, he is doing great.  He listens, he responds well and he is taking it slow.  He really wants to drive at night, but with the sun setting just after 9 pm right now, he is still stuck driving during daylight hours.  Over the next month, he will get his driving hours.

Pablo has been with us 9 years as of this week. He is a lot more grey then when we got him, but he is a good little doggie.

In other news, I am struggling.  I think the events in my life over the last 18 months are taking a toll on me.  I am not sleeping, I am struggling with everything.  I have been working with a therapist and talking with my doctor.  Things will get better, I just need to keep working on things as per my therapist and my doctor. 

Final news- we have started planning for our return to Guatemala in November 2022

Love and hugs,

Deb

 

End of the Year and invasion of the cicadas

 

The dog likes to lay on the top of the sofa and watch the neighborhood.  Yesterday we were over at Mam's house and he wore himself out with all the new smells.  So he napped a lot today.  He was lightly snoring here.  So cute.

The teen had his last day of his sophomore year on Friday (28May).  He managed to pass all his classes- one by the skin of his teeth.  But he is on to his junior year of school and no summer school is needed.

While cleaning out rooms at Mam's house, we found another box of old documents (our school report cards) and pictures.  In the box was this passport photo of my sister and I with Mam.  I am the one in the lighter clothing.  This would have been 1967 as we prepared to travel to Germany for the first time.  At that time, children travelled on their parents' passport versus having to have their own passport.

The cicadas are here.  We are ground zero for Brood X cicadas.  They will be here for 6 weeks- the teen is not happy about cutting grass with these bugs flying around.  They have a 17 year life cycle.  The bugs now burrowed out of the ground, they will molt, then fly into the trees and then the males will "sing" for their mate,  they mate, the males die, the females lay their eggs in branches in the trees and the eggs will fall to ground, they will become nymphs and burrow down in the ground where they will stay for 17 years before the cycle starts again.  

For those of us in older neighborhoods, we see this cycle every 17 years.  For new neighborhoods- it is likely no cicadas immerged from the ground because the ground was disturbed in the 17 years.  So those new neighborhoods will wait until the next emergence to see the volume of cicadas that the older neighborhoods see.

the boy took some fun pictures of the doggie- he almost looks like he is smiling.

up close with the cicadas

my flowers - no gardening this year due to the cicadas and moving into Mam's house this summer.  So all my gardening is in pots so I can quickly water them (avoiding cicadas) and also move them when we move.

this happy, smiling boy showed up in my facebook memories this week.  I miss this happy, smiling boy.  Just a few more teen years to go and maybe the smiling, happy young man will appear.

this was the first evidence that the cicadas were coming out.  This is the exoskeleton after molting.

doggie boy begging for me to save him from the teen.

the teen getting his first vaccine.  He gets his second shot on the 6th.  Our state is opening back up as of the 2nd of June.  I am not sure if I am ready for no masks.   But I am ready to see friends again on a regular basis and be able to attend events for the teen again.

Love and hugs,

Deb

Pap died on Sunday, 11Apr2021

 Pap was hospitalized again on Wednesday- to drain more fluid from his pleural effusion.   He asked for hospice on Thursday morning before we were allowed to visit or talk to him- which is fine with me, it is his life and his choice.

He had the fluid drained on Thursday, and then we were waiting for hospice to bring out the hospital bed on Friday before the ambulance would bring him home. He came home on Friday evening, around 7:30 pm.

He was exhausted and went to bed at 8 pm (really he just stayed in bed, but wanted his meds and then wanted to sleep).  He was up every 30 minutes until 12 mid night, then he slept until 3:30 am, and then was up every 30 minutes or so for the rest of the morning.  The hospice nurse came to do the intake assessment at 9 am and immediately called for crisis care nursing.  Danielle, the day nurse arrived a 2 pm and worked hard on getting Pap comfortable.  The night nurse, Dodo, arrived at 7 pm and took care of him overnight, and Danielle came back in the morning at 7 am  

during the day on Saturday, Pap had his grandson, Jason visit, his nephews Craig and Mike and his sister in law visit, he talked to Troy (his son) in the afternoon.  He ate some tomato soup and then wanted to sleep.  Overnight, his condition worsened and when I got up in the morning, Dodo and Danielle told me that it was likely he would pass in the next 24 hours.

Sunday, Pap never really woke up or was aware of his surroundings.  His granddaughter, Kristen, and her family, including his great grand daughters, came to visit and they stayed the entire rest of Pap's life.

Pap's breathing changed in the early afternoon and Danielle indicated he was passing.  We gathered around him as a family and were holding his hands and rubbing his arms as he passed. Danielle took care of notifying the corener and the funeral home.  Pap had pre-paid for his and Mam's funeral over 20 years ago.  The funeral home came to get Pap and we began our lives without him

today we met with the funeral home to finalize the details and then contacted friends and family regarding the funeral details. we also had to call Troy with the details as Troy did not come up to see his father before he died, was not on the road.  we had to delay the funeral until early next week due to them needing to travel here.  I am letting my emotions show here- but he has nothing but excuses.  if I was out of state, I would have been traveling back the minute that I got the call on Thursday that my father asked for hospice - nothing would have stopped me.

Because Troy does not understand the will- we have to meet with the lawyer on Friday, taping the meeting, because Troy may not be here by the time the meeting is with the lawyer.  The will indicates that the surviving spouse (Mam) inherits everything and then when she dies, the 4 of us kids (me, Laura, Dave, and Troy) must divide the remaining assets equally (25% for each of us).  Troy believes that because Mam and Pap had equal share in all the property, He, Troy, gets 50% of the assets NOW.

this week is going to be a hard week.  

Prayers are greatly appreciated.  

Love and hugs to you all,

Deb

 

just venting- so overwhelmed right now

 So life is throwing quite a lot at me this season:

1. Pap was hospitalized for 12 days (03Mar-15Mar): he was diagnosed with Pneumonia and congestive heart failure (CHF).  He came out of the hospital on 2 liters of oxygen and weaker then he was last year when he came home.  He can not stand up, which means toileting is a nightmare for Mam and me. He cannot get in and out of a car (getting him in the car at the hospital was an adventure), so he is house bound.  We are in the decline.  it is a matter of time before he is bed bound - his cancer has metastasized to his lungs.

2. Aidan hurt his leg in gym class (physical education)- he tried rest, elevation, and ice for the last 2.5 weeks per the doctor and nothing has changed, so he will have an MRI next week and most likely will have surgery within a few weeks

3. Mam's  Alzheimer's continues to progress.  She can not  follow simple requests, so having her help is hard.  This leads to Pap screaming at her (just being brutally honest).

it is just becoming too much.  I dont know how I am going to get through these next few months.  everyone needs me and I am giving everything and there is nothing left for me- I have no time to recharge.  

catching up yet again

 Work took a very busy turn on Sept/October and I lost myself in work.  My days were starting at 3 am and ending at 5 pm.  In the end, that was not a sustainable work schedule with the life I have now- teenager and 2 elderly parents.  I left my job in Dec 2020 and I started a new job in Jan 2021. I am only 2 weeks into the new job, so too soon to tell how much I like the job, but on the plus side, I am back to a normal work schedule.

Some pictures from Christmas- it is so hard to get parents to keep their eyes open for pictures.

Dave and Wads

Dave, Mam and Wads

The boy and his grandparents

Darrell and Laura with Mam and Pap

Me and the boy with my parents- My brother took the picture and he has no idea how to focus on Faces!!!!

The boys

The girls

Clearly, being house bound means no pictures on a regular basis.