Playing inside becuase it is to cold to be outside

it was cold outside today- although the sun was out at some point.  Bug and I needed some play time, but the park was not an option, swimming was not an option, so I took him to the mall.  I am very happy that bug thinks the mall is a play area and has not really put it together that he could go shopping.  Although, he did complain that I would not buy him a drink and cookie while we were at the mall.   I noticed tonight, that this is probably the last year he will fit in the cars and things.  He is outgrowing all the baby things and moving on to little boy things.  He already exceeds the height limit in the play area, but I will let him play there until he decides it is too babyish for him

riding the hot dog truck

hanging in his car, looking for some chicas to pick up.  This is a harbinger of things to come at our house and it is closer than I wish it was.

Just for comparison, this is Bug in June 2007- not the same mall, but still the difference in size is readily apparent, as is the aging in his face.  he is not a baby any more at all. 

Having a last ride on the pony.  he really prefers live ponies.  Which reminds me I need to look into riding lessons for him in the fall (depending on soccer schedules) as he will be old enough for riding lessons at the local  park

and the real sign that he is outgrowing the play area- he preferred way to play tonight- climbing over the bridge

sliding down the bridge backwards.

and finally one tired family, but we had fun and had a good night.

Something clicked today- a change again in the dynamics in the family.  I am not sure if Bug reached that 6 month mark of routine with school, but there was not fight for homework this afternoon- he usually has at least one melt down per afternoon.  He was actually ready ahead of time for homework.  He got it done, not as fast as I would like, but still no drama.  He got his clothes changed and was ready to leave the house on time at 4:45 pm.  Something has definitely changed in the last few days.  And it is a good thing.

Maybe it is that I am calmer since I have been able to work on things I love- like quilting.  Maybe it is just Bug getting older and this is normal, but having a few hours or 30 minutes a day for me has helped tremendously.  I have felt like all my time over the last 3 years has been consume by Bug and his anxious attachment- not letting me have any time to myself during waking hours, needing to be constantly with me, requiring me to beside him in every new situation.  It has been draining to say the least.  I know I will look back and long for this time- at least that is what everyone tells me, but I honestly believe that those people actually have had time away from their kids and not been punished by the kids later.  I have never gotten that- I know any time away from Bug, any time I try to create for myself was just borrowing trouble and I would pay for it in very defiant, angry behaviors within a week.  So I have been unwilling to push for time unless I really have to take time- like business trips.
but last night, to have Bug tell me he was going skating and watch him skate off alone, without me just made me proud.  Today not having a fight over homework just made me happy.  having 2-3 hours this past weekend to quilt just gave me rest.  I love my boy, I love the time together, but sometimes I need space too.  And it looks like I am going to get some space in little chunks now.  I need this time and Bug needs it too. He needs the chance to be independent, to see that he can do things alone, but still within sight of momma, he needs to start connecting with his peer group- though I know I have to watch the influence and be prepared.  I know that Bug and I will both be happier having a little space away from each other and it makes me excited that Bug appears to be ready for this space.

I have rambled again- but we are in a season of growth and change here and I need to remember the steps along the way.

Love and hugs,
Deb