Unofficial Start to Spring- Home and Garden show

The day has finally arrived- the 'unofficial start to Spring"- which is the first day of the home and garden show.  I know after today, I have 3-4 weeks until I can plant potatoes, onions, lettuce, radishes, carrots (though I am not holding out hope for them), and swiss chard.  I might try broccoli this year too- not sure yet.

and we are 8-10 weeks from summer veggies going into the garden.  HURRAH!!!!!!

For Bug, the home garden show is lots of fountains to reach into (which he loves, contrary to how this picture looks).

talking to a lonely goldfish in a fountain

checking  out the 'backyard stream' that he wishes we had in our yard

really trying to figure out if putting his hand in the steam is worth making his momma angry- he decided that it was not worth it and stayed dry.

stomping on the bridge to scare the goldfish/Koi out from under the bridge (at the request of the vendor in this area).  The fish stayed under the bridge unfortunately.  There were about 30 of them under there.

having a great time together at the Home and Garden show.

and the best part for Bug, the play set area that is set up and kids are encouraged to try everything out.  I have to save this part of the show until the last, because otherwise Bug would hang out here all day and I would never get him away.

He did some wall climbing

some more wall climbing, but apparently he needed some hand licking too.

And finally, he had 2 sessions on the trampoline.  The salesman was really trying to sell me one.  But given there is no room in the backyard for a trampoline while the play set is back there, it will not be soon.  I told they guy, Bug has to gain about 25 more pounds before he will no longer be able to play on his play set.  The salesman walked away from me without even looking back.  I had to laugh.

We came home after nearly 3 hours at the home and garden show.  I was so inspired that even though it was only 38 degrees F outside, I did some yard work- my knock out roses in front of the house got some sort of disease and I knew I was going to have remove this year.  Today was as good as any day.  Bug was riding his bike and then decided to dig for worms.  The worms are burrowed too deep right now, but he was determined to find them.  Little E and Big E came home and decided to come over and help.  They had a grand time scooping all the dirt from the pot into the hole Bug dug. 

 It was a good day- Home and garden show, 5 rose bushes taken out- I am going to replace them with daylillies that are yellow and red.  The girls really liked the idea.  Now if the weather would warm up so we could be out there all day.

Love and hugs,
Deb

Random things

Since I heard that Rosa is graduating from the Compassion program, I have searching the house for the original picture I received of her back in 1997.  She was a 5 year old and her picture hung over my desk for years.  Actually I think this was the picture I had of her for 10 years.  I am going copy this picture and the last one of her as part of my last letter to her that I am drafting.  I hope she enjoys getting pictures of herself back from me.  What a change from a 5 year old to a almost 19 year old.

Last Friday, I had to take my car into the repair shop for what I was hoping would be quick, easy and cheap fixes.  At 2 pm, they called to let me know it was none of the above and they would loan me a car for the weekend.  the repairs ended up being nearly $1500.00.  I cannot complain, I have no car payment as my car is from 1997.  But this is not about my car, it is about the loaner car the repair shop gave me for the weekend.  The repairs ruined the plan to go to the zoo on Friday but that turned out OK as Bug was sick and needed the rest. 

The En.clave.

The loaner was referred to, over the weekend, as the "land barge" or the "gas guzzling, piece of crap SUV". Technically it is a crossover, but the gas mileage is awful.  12 miles to the gallon in the city!!!!!!!!!  We did like the styling and some of the features- back up camera, fold down back seats, drink holders in the door in the back seat and the satellite radio.  But we were very happy to get car back on Monday. Even at 15 years old, my car still averages 26 miles to the gallon around town. And add in no car payment, I am perfectly content to drive my car until it dies.

Tommy and Greg from the repair shop. They are really good guys.

Well, I am off to finish a few things before heading off to bed.  I finally have some meds for my sinus infection that has become something more, so I am thinking I might get some good sleep tonight.

Love and hugs,
Deb

School is wearing us both down

This is a picture of the Bug at 5:20 pm today.  Please ignore the lack of sheets on his bed, I did laundry this weekend and his sheets were not put back on his bed.  There really is no reason to put sheets on his bed since he falls asleep on the couch and then ends up in bed.  But I digress.

Bug has been in a mean temper mood the last 2 days - snapping at me, willfully disobeying me, being rude.  I hit my limit today when he threw his school binder down in my office and yelled at me.  So I sent him to bed to rest for 30 minutes.  about 10 minutes later, I heard footsteps in the hallway and when I went to investigate, I found him standing in front of the TV, telling me his 30 minutes were up.  TV went off, back to bed he went and 5 minutes later he was asleep.  I let him sleep for an hour, then woke him so he could do homework, eat dinner, and we could have some time together.  His hour nap did not help, unfortunately.
he lost TV privileges tonight, and he is on the path to loosing them for the rest of the week at this point.  He continued to be rude and snap at me while doing his homework.  Dinner was better since I fixed him 'chicken bones"- his name for drumsticks or chicken legs.

He lost his privilege to sleep on the couch tonight. 

And thru it all he is refusing to tell me what is bothering him or what happened that might be making him scared or angry.  It is hard to learn these lessons and it is hard to be the momma dishing out the punishments, but better now then in 10-20 years learning these lessons as a teenager or a young adult.

love and hugs,
Deb

time does not stand still

You all might remember this picture- this is Rosa.  I have sponsored her thru compassion since she was 5 years old.  Last night, I received word that she is graduating and will no longer be in the compassion program.  I was her first and only sponsor.  13 years later, we are saying good bye. 

I am happy and sad.  happy that she finished high school, that she dreams of being a doctor, that she has skills that will allow her to break the cycle of poverty.  But I am sad, sad because I will not be able to follow her further, to communicate with her.  There were years of silence on my part and I see them now as wasted.  I was just a sponsor, but over the last 7 years, I have been more faithful in writing.  I still could have done better. 

I now I have to sit and write a final letter to her, pick out some pictures to send her, to close our relationship. She will never be far from my thoughts, her picture will remain posted in our house.  She will be forever stuck in my mind as an 18 year old.  How do I say good bye? 

I went hunting for her first picture I received, I have not found it yet, but I know I have it.  I was thinking of sending her copies of the first picture and the last picture I have of her as part of my final letter.  I wonder if she has pictures of herself, I wonder if she knows just how precious she is- even though I tell her all the time in my letters.

Time does not stop and I know she is going out into adulthood with skills and hope and ambition.  I know she will succeed. I know that she was the beginning of the journey I have taken over the last 13 years.

And into her spot, another young lady steps- chosen because of a name that needs to be remembered, to honor a little girl and a strong momma here in the US, a chance to set one more child free of the cycle of poverty and to give a child hope.  A chance to tell one more child that they are loved and are precious beyond all riches and that they have value.  A chance to give back. A chance for hope.

Rosa is the 3rd compassion child I have had to say good bye to in the last  2 years.  It does not get easier and no matter the reason the kids leave the program, it still is  hard to say good bye.

Love and hugs,
Deb

Busy day- shopping, party and skating

We went shopping with Pap and Mam this morning.  It is always fun to ride the motorized cart.

It's even more fun to  ride the cart momma pushes out to the car

We had a birthday party this afternoon, roller skating.  Bug had a great time skating,

Playing video games

Hanging with his friend Little M

Little M was not as comfortable as Bug on skates but the boys had a great time.

The boys enjoyed some pizza and juice

A visit with Big M

The birthday girl- Little E

The boys had a good time

And the shocking picture- Bug actually singing the birthday song.  Little M, Bug, Little E, Big E and the back of Big M's head- all the kids having a great time

It was a busy day.  I need a nap- probably more so because I have been awake every 2 hours the last 2 nights.  Bug has been sick- it is very hard for him to breath right now.  I think in the last 2 nights I have had a total of 8 hours of sleep.  Even trying to take a nap this afternoon, I was not able to sleep- a certain little Bug was feeling much better and was determined to not nap today. 

I think Sunday is going to be a restful day (at least I hope so).

Love and hugs,
Deb

Red Rover, Red Rover Send Bug right over

All the kids in the neighborhood were out playing.  At some point, they are all begging to ride bikes in the street, but since it was afternoon rush hour, meaning lots of people coming home, we were not allowing them to ride bikes on the street.  The natives were getting restless, when I suggested that they play "red rover".  None of the kids knew this game!!!!!

So Little M's mom and I taught the kids the game.  We split them into 2 teams, and lined up facing each other.  Each team holds hands and then the first team beings by saying "red rover, red rover, send (name), right over".  The person called, runs over to the first team, trying to break through the line- if the person succeeds breaking the line, they go back to their own team.  if they fail to break the line, they stay with the new team.  The alternates back and forth until one team has all the players.

The kids loved the game and even when they went back to riding bikes, they were chanting "red rover, red rover". 

Little M's mom and I decided the next game to teach them is "Farmer in the dell".

Bug and I are off to the park tomorrow as Little M is going to his grandparents.  The day should be beautiful. 

Love and hugs,
Deb

more mid winter warm up

We had another wonderful day, weather wise.  After church, Bug and I practiced baseball.  He is good at keeping his eye on the ball and making contact.  I hope he enjoys T-Ball this year.

There was lots of bike riding.  Bug and Little M rode for at least an hour.  Little M really wanted to play basketball today, but it was too windy.  The basketball hoop actually fell over.

The boys had a great afternoon. 

The rest of week looks just like this- a little warmer each day.  We know this is temporary, and winter will be back in a week, but it helps every one feel like winter will soon be over.  For me, the sun and warm weather really help my attitude.  We can get outside and not come back in freezing. By the end of the week, I might even be able to open the windows and get some fresh air in the house.  I am going to try hanging some laundry on the line tomorrow- sun and wind, even it is just around 50F, means dry clothes.

Love and hugs,

Deb

Mid winter Warm up- much needed sun and playtime outside

A picture of Bug and I at the bus stop on Thursday morning.  The temperature was 8 degrees F (-13 C).  The balaclavas are very much needed on these types of cold days.  Bug wears his only until the bus comes, and then hands it over to me before getting on the bus.  I am just thankful we have them.

Our mid winter warm up came today, not a moment too late.  We are really tired of being stuck inside due to the bitter cold.  Today the temp was 41 F (5 C) and sunny.  we were loving it.  Bug was out the door at 10 am and played outside for 2.5 hours, riding his bike with the other kids in the neighborhood. 

There was still small piles of snow on our grass, and Bug and I spent some time throwing snow at each other and stomping down the snow.  By the late afternoon, all these piles had melted away!!!

Bug and Little M had a great time playing for 2 hours together.  They are really happy playing together and are getting along great.

I finished Lark's quilt today- really tonight.  I found out after I washed the quilt that the binding was not correct in some places. I guess that is the consequence of not quilting for 2 years- one forgets the exact steps.  But I was able to correct the issue this evening and the quilt is ready to be mailed off to Lark.  So My resolution of finishing a quilt a month is starting off well- I have finished one in January and one in February.  I have the March quilt top almost done, so I might be getting ahead.

The quilts are allowing me to feel like I am accomplishing something.  I can point to them and see the progress.  They are also giving me a creative outlet and much needed stress relief.  I will be needing this later this year as I have many deadlines for work and will need something to show me progress that is tangible.

Love and hugs,
Deb

Let's just forget yesterday's post

So I put the curse on myself by blogging about how good things were going.   Bug came home today with his daily behavior chart marked "disrespectful to the teacher", but it also had an over all happy face on it.  So I think he had a good day.  When I asked him about it, he let me know that he had not been listening today and was busy talking.  HMMMM.  I guess Little man is feeling much more secure in his class and perhaps his teacher is getting to see the behavior I have seen for quite some time.


Next week's parent teacher conference should be interesting.  I have a slew of questions for her- the most important being whether she is seeing improvement on Bug's auditory discernment skills (identifying sounds) and whether she is going to recommend holding him back for another year of kindergarten.  The last is just my fear talking.  Bug is doing fine in school, I am just concerned that perhaps he is being profiled in school (single mom, non Caucasian heritage, etc). I have talked to a few friends whose opinion mean the world to me and who are also teachers and they think Bug is being profiled strictly on race.  This information sits in the back of my mind along with the memories of watching my brother struggle with an undiagnosed learning disability (dyslexia).  I don't want social promotion for Bug, but I am not willing to hold him back just based on non learning issues.  I am just worrying, it will be fine. 

Quilting: still working on Lark's quilt.  Apparently following a design for the quilting is not as easy as I thought it would be.  first I could not remember how to sew none straight lines with my sewing machine (don't laugh) and now it is apparent that I am not a follow the lines kind of quilter.   But it is looking beautiful if I do say so myself.  Since the quilting is more intense then I expected, I have not been able to pray over the quilt while I quilt it.  So after it is quilted and washed, but before it is boxed up to send to Lark, I will pray over the quilt and let the prayers for Lark's life settle into the fabric.  This way she is wrapped in prayers. It is just something I do with my quilts.

The cold is totally here, with 3 layers of shirts and 2 layers on my legs, I am still freezing.  I had to turn the heat up here in the house the last 2 days.  I know many of my friends are laughing out loud at that statement, they already think the house is too cold at 68 degrees during the day and 60 at night.  I am ready for Spring.  Even Bug is sick of the cold. Tonight it will be 6 degrees F, today's high was 22 degrees F.  Thankfully, this weekend the temperature are supposed to be 45 degrees and sunny. Bug and I are planning time at the park to enjoy the "warm" weather and sunshine. 

We are about 40 days away from the first day of Spring.  And pretty soon , we can plant potatoes and onions and the rest of the cold weather vegetables- lettuce, radishes, carrots, Swiss chard.  Bring it on.  I am ready for Spring.

Love and hugs,
Deb

Playing inside becuase it is to cold to be outside

it was cold outside today- although the sun was out at some point.  Bug and I needed some play time, but the park was not an option, swimming was not an option, so I took him to the mall.  I am very happy that bug thinks the mall is a play area and has not really put it together that he could go shopping.  Although, he did complain that I would not buy him a drink and cookie while we were at the mall.   I noticed tonight, that this is probably the last year he will fit in the cars and things.  He is outgrowing all the baby things and moving on to little boy things.  He already exceeds the height limit in the play area, but I will let him play there until he decides it is too babyish for him

riding the hot dog truck

hanging in his car, looking for some chicas to pick up.  This is a harbinger of things to come at our house and it is closer than I wish it was.

Just for comparison, this is Bug in June 2007- not the same mall, but still the difference in size is readily apparent, as is the aging in his face.  he is not a baby any more at all. 

Having a last ride on the pony.  he really prefers live ponies.  Which reminds me I need to look into riding lessons for him in the fall (depending on soccer schedules) as he will be old enough for riding lessons at the local  park

and the real sign that he is outgrowing the play area- he preferred way to play tonight- climbing over the bridge

sliding down the bridge backwards.

and finally one tired family, but we had fun and had a good night.

Something clicked today- a change again in the dynamics in the family.  I am not sure if Bug reached that 6 month mark of routine with school, but there was not fight for homework this afternoon- he usually has at least one melt down per afternoon.  He was actually ready ahead of time for homework.  He got it done, not as fast as I would like, but still no drama.  He got his clothes changed and was ready to leave the house on time at 4:45 pm.  Something has definitely changed in the last few days.  And it is a good thing.

Maybe it is that I am calmer since I have been able to work on things I love- like quilting.  Maybe it is just Bug getting older and this is normal, but having a few hours or 30 minutes a day for me has helped tremendously.  I have felt like all my time over the last 3 years has been consume by Bug and his anxious attachment- not letting me have any time to myself during waking hours, needing to be constantly with me, requiring me to beside him in every new situation.  It has been draining to say the least.  I know I will look back and long for this time- at least that is what everyone tells me, but I honestly believe that those people actually have had time away from their kids and not been punished by the kids later.  I have never gotten that- I know any time away from Bug, any time I try to create for myself was just borrowing trouble and I would pay for it in very defiant, angry behaviors within a week.  So I have been unwilling to push for time unless I really have to take time- like business trips.
but last night, to have Bug tell me he was going skating and watch him skate off alone, without me just made me proud.  Today not having a fight over homework just made me happy.  having 2-3 hours this past weekend to quilt just gave me rest.  I love my boy, I love the time together, but sometimes I need space too.  And it looks like I am going to get some space in little chunks now.  I need this time and Bug needs it too. He needs the chance to be independent, to see that he can do things alone, but still within sight of momma, he needs to start connecting with his peer group- though I know I have to watch the influence and be prepared.  I know that Bug and I will both be happier having a little space away from each other and it makes me excited that Bug appears to be ready for this space.

I have rambled again- but we are in a season of growth and change here and I need to remember the steps along the way.

Love and hugs,
Deb