an update and Happy first day of the baseball season

I took Bug to the park today.  He has been sick for 4 weeks, but is finally feeling better and needed some run around time.  I am sick though, so it took alot out of me to be outside today.  But Bug is worth it and after having a sick momma for the last week and playing inside everyday while I try to rest on the couch, he really deserved a day to do what he wanted.

he rand and around and played for over an hour.  Then I took him to an indoor play area and he got another 20 minutes of play time.

And now he is asleep in under 5 minutes.

Today was also "Opening day" for the baseball season.  It is a huge deal here- we have the first professional baseball team and it was the 135 year for open day celebrations.  Our city has a big rally and parade before the game.  I think next year, I might take a day off work and take Bug down to see the parade (if the weather is nice).  There have been years it has snowed on opening day!!!!

I am not usually into baseball- though I used to be as a child.  But Bug will be starting T-ball this month.  T-ball is the first level of baseball.  I cannot believe I am subjecting myself to 2 months of a night of practice and a night for a game.  I really don't like baseball games.  But I have heard, T-ball is seriously funny to watch, since the kids are still learning.  My goal has always been to expose Bug to as many sports as I can, so that he can find sports that really interest him.  He and his buddy Little M appear to be on the same team, so life will be good for us. Bug gets to play with a friend and I have a friend to talk to while the boys practice or are playing their game.

Sickness: We don't know what I have, I suspect that Bug had it first except he never had a fever.  I have had a fever since Thursday.  I can got it down to 99 over the weekend , which was down from a high of 103.2 degrees F.  My doctor put me on a new med on Monday, and my temperature is around 97 right now. But I have other stuff going on that leads my doctor to believe that I have a mono type illness with a bacterial infection.  Not fun at all.  I ma exhausted all the time.  My doctor asked me if I wanted a note for work so I could be off for 1 or 2 weeks.  Right now I am pushing through.  I prefer to have a diagnosis before I worry about any time off.  but my doctor has said that I need to rest (does he really understand what being a single mom means???) or I am going to end up being sick for 6 months. 

I am hoping the lab results come soon, I want answers. 

Well, Bug is sleeping and I need to go sleep too- I pushed too hard today. 

Love and hugs,
Deb

catching up- sort of

Sunday, I finished the quilt top for E's quilt.  E would be my friend E's oldest daughter.  I still have to sandwich it and quilt it before 31Mar to stay on my goal of finishing a quilt per month this year.  I am not sure it is going to happen, but more on that later.

Tuesday, I was able to attend Bug's last field trip this year.  No pictures from the planetarium, but these are the kids waiting to go inside.

They also got to build simple machines in the L.ego lab.  Bug thought this was the best part.

Wednesday, we had the blessing of spending time with Hermano and his family before the funeral activities started.  And it was a blessing to be with them and to just watch the boys.  It helped me to focus on life instead of death.

Bug is closing in on 4 feet now in height. He is growing up fast.

Hermano is also growing, though he is not quite as tall as Bug. 

We took Hermano and his parents to our favorite pizza place after seeing the fish.

Thursday, All 12 of my grandfather's kids after the funeral

Another view.  After we left, I realized we should have gotten pictures of the grandkids (51 of us), and the great grand kids (44 of them- this is Bug's group) and 4 great great grand kids.  Not everyone was present, but the group photos would have been impressive.

The "exciting" news after all this- by the time we got home after the funeral, I had a fever of 101.5 and it went up to 103.2 before the night ended.  I spent Friday with a low grade fever around 99 degrees, resting on the couch.  I love my doctor, who with one phone call on Thursday (day of the funeral) called in medicine for me.  Now if I could only get Bug's doctor to do the same.

Sunday, we celebrated Uncle Dave's birthday. You know Bug had to help blow out the candles.  After everyone left, we took a 3 hour nap on the couch.  I am exhausted after 20 minutes of doing anything- cooking, cleaning, being awake.  Work this week is going to be hard, just because I am not feeling anywhere near normal.  Bug heads back to school after being off for 3 days. 

So that is our past week.  Hopefully things start looking up soon.

Love and hugs,

Deb

saying good bye

no pictures from the funeral.  It was a long 24 hours.

Wednesday evening, we had the layout/visitation- 5 hours for the family.  Bug and Pap stayed for 2 hours, and then headed home. Bug did great playing quietly with Pap in the backroom, though he did come out to see Grandpa Joe at one point.

On Thursday, we had the funeral.  I had a reading of intersession to do and bug came with me.  Also, all the grandkids and great grandkids brought up flowers with the communion gifts.  I think most of us were there.  51 grandkids and 44 great grandkids, minus a few.

There were some brief words at the grave site, but I think everyone was too cold to say much.  we had warm temps early this week, but on Thursday it was 33 degree F and light snow was falling. 

After the funeral, we had a reception at city Hall.  The City declared 24Mar2011 "Joseph H day" in honor of my grandfather's years of service to the community and his 6 years as mayor.  The flags were all at half mast.  I found out that the priest who said the funeral mast was Grandpa Joe's cousin. 

It sad but a good day.  Grandpa Joe is with Grandma Janet and with Jesus. 


Bug and I got home around 2:30 and I was sicker then ever.   Bug's 3 week battle with whatever he has final got me.  Only I got the fever, 103.2 degrees F at 7 pm.  This morning I am much better, though exhausted.   Bug and I are going to stay home, in our jammies and watch movies today.

Outing with Bug's class

Pictures to be uploaded tomorrow or sometime later this week.


I volunteered a while ago to go on a field trip with bug's class- it was today.  The trip was to the planetarium and to the Lego lab.

Bug thought it was great.  I enjoyed the planetarium.  I wish the lego lab was different, and I think most of the kids did too- it really was too hot in the class and not really set up for 5 years- too much independent work required, instead of fun learning.  I am not sure Bug learned anything.

The fun part of the trip- I some how dropped my cell phone (work cell phone) in the planetarium. By the time I realized it was gone, we were in the lego lab.  Luckily the group we were with was split into 2 groups and the other group was in the planetarium, heard my cell phone ringing (Bug's teacher let me use her phone to call my phone) and brought my phone back to me.

when we got home, Bug took a 4 hour nap.  yet another sign that Bug is sick.  but still he has no fever, so nothing can be done for him.  The throat swabs taken on Monday should have results back tomorrow.  I have a feeling it is going to came back with nothing.  which will lead me to schedule a follow up doctor appointment on Friday to demand that the doctor tell me what can be done to ease Bug's symptoms.

Tomorrow we have some time with friends in the morning/early afternoon, and then home to change for the visitation.  Thursday is the funeral. 

Love and hugs,

Deb

the drama of sickness

so Bug has been sick for about 3 weeks. The usual, weather changed, allergies flaring sickness with something on top of it.

The problem- he has no other symptoms except a runny nose.  He does not have a fever, he does not have any vomiting, no diarrhea, nothing else.  OK, to appease my dad, Bug is tired- he falls asleep in the car with ease right now (not complaining, it is nice).  But the boy still runs his heart out.

Friday night, I called the doctor because there was goop coming out of the corners of his eyes- unofficial diagnosis- conjunctivitis.  Official diagnosis- a cold in his eyes.
Saturday- Bug complained of a pain on his right side just below his rib cage. Unofficial diagnosis- not appedicistis.  Official diagnosis - unknown.
Sunday, no call to the doctor
Today, Monday, Bug had  a trip to the allergist.  yes, he officially has allergies and unbelievably, he is allergic to Maple trees.  Why do we know this, because the Maple trees started pollinating 3 weeks ago when Bug first got sick.  The doctor says the spike in allergy related issues is directly correlated.
Next thing he found- tonsillitis!!!!  yep, Bug had no symptoms on Wednesday when I took him to see his doctor, but today, he has full blown symptoms- though still NO FEVER.   The allergist did a throat swab, we are awaiting the results.  I am thinking Bug is going to be on an antibiotic within 24 hours.

I am thinking Bug needs a new regular doctor who listens and puts the information together that Bug never gets a fever with his infections. But then again, the allergist today told me, that without a secondary symptom, he would not have done anything if Bug had presented on Wednesday to him.  So it is only the fact that there were some additional symptoms today that caused the doctor to swab his throat to have it tested.

Bug is supposed to be on a field trip tomorrow.  If he is fever free in the morning and wants to go, we are going.  Yes, we are going.  I signed up to be a volunteer parent helper for this field trip a while ago.  Even with the events later this week, I feel it is important that Bug have as normal as possible routine.  Tomorrow is his last day of school for the week (he actually is only missing one day of school this week- Thursday).  But back to the field trip- we are going to the planetarium!!!!!

For those of you who have known me for ages and ages- you can imagine how excited I am- I always loved space- thus the reason I volunteered for this field trip.  I am so excited and praying that Bug feels well enough to go on the trip.

Love and hugs,
Deb

Bug lost his first tooth

Bug is growing up, the signs are all around now.  Today, his first tooth came out. 

This is the tooth that Ms. Patti told him was going to come out by summer- he is actually going to loose 2 by summer.  The tooth has been getting looser and looser the last few weeks.  Earlier this week, I noticed that his permanent tooth had broken through behind the baby tooth.  So I knew we had to get this tooth out ASAP.  But Bug is pain phobic.  I needed something to numb his gums.  I decided to check if ora.jel would work.  Sure enough it works and Bug pulled his own tooth out.  He was so excited that he never even noticed the blood.

See you can see the hole from the baby tooth and the permanent tooth coming in already.

We put the tooth in the little bag for tooth fairy.  Bug is super excited that the tooth fairy is coming tonight. 

Little M came over to play with us today.

The boys had a good time playing in the backyard.

Along with some silliness on the front porch.

It is going be a hard week.  Prayers are greatly appreciated.

Love and hugs,
Deb

Grandpa Joe has died and we have a new family member

I received the call from my mom this morning, that Grandpa Joe died this morning.  I actually knew he was dead, as I was woken up at 4:45 am this morning by the sound of a door slamming in my house.  As as I checked the house and found nothing wrong, I just knew that he was gone.  I am sad that he is gone, but rejoicing that he is with my Grandma and that he is standing in the presence of God singing praises  to an awesome God.

Right now, the layout will be on Wednesday and the funeral will be Thursday, but things could be delayed as the coroner insisted on preforming an autopsy.  The funeral arrangements can not be finalized until the coroners offices releases Grandpa Joe's body.

When I was over visiting Grandpa Joe this week, I asked my aunt what was going to happen to m grandfather's fish "Obama" and if there was no previous request, we would love to take the fish for a pet.  Bug has been talking about it since.  But he also wants a goldfish.  So today, we headed out and got Bug a goldfish.

So, here is our newest member of the family "Hot rod" the goldfish.   Obama the beta fish will be coming sometime this week.  He will receive a new name once he arrives in this house.

Bug is very happy to have a pet- though he wants to use the net and fish Hot Rod out of the tank!!! 


Bug also asked when grandpa Joe will come back from being with Jesus.  How do you explain death to a 5 year old?  I know there is no simple answer, it is something we will work through over a long period of time. 

love and hugs,
Deb

Just catching up

Bug and Baxter on Wednesday.  Bug has/had a cold on top of his allergies.  He has been napping every afternoon this week.  Well tonight the 'gunk' started coming out of his eyes- so he has "pink eye' in both eyes (conjunctivitis).  The doctor called him in a prescription for eye medicine.  Of course Bug has no other symptoms- no fever, no vomiting, no diarrhea.  He is just tired and has lots of sinus drainage.  UGHHHH, I can not wait to notify school of this, since he has gone to school every day this week.

Baxter soaking up some sun on Wednesday.

And enjoying dinner on Wednesday.  Bug told me Baxter likes fish- so he got gold fish crackers.  Bug was happy to share and yes, Bug has a mouth full of food.  The boy is like a chipmunk with his food.

Baxter spent Wednesday sleeping in my office in Bug's old car seat.

Today, I went to school and read to Bug's class and shared treats with them.  Bug choose "Hot Rod Hamster" for me to read to the class.  I think they enjoyed it.

Bug passed out treats to his classmates.

One happy boy that both Momma and Pap came to see him at school. 

Mam is still holding vigil with my grandfather.  I can not believe that he has hung on this long.  I took some clothes over to my mom today and glanced in the room where my grandfather is, it was just like seeing my grandmother back in 1997.  My grandfather is not there any more and the change from earlier this week is incredible.  There is just a body there, a body that is slowly dying.  I am sad, but I am drained from this.  I cannot imagine my mother's emotional state, though she seem fine today.  I know there is not much time left, but it seems to be dragging out.

I really don't know what else to say. 

Love and hugs,

Deb

A visit from Baxter the bear

This week is Bug's "totally terrific me" week.  Usually this is the week of the student's birthday, but for those kids whose birthday falls during summer break, the kids get a half year celebration.  Bug's is this week as I said.  Part of the week is that the classroom mascot- Baxter the bear comes home for 2 nights.

Baxter helped Bug with his homework- more of a supervisory role.

Baxter and Bug did some reading- wait until you see the video (I will try to post it within this post- it is too cute)

And Baxter provided some companionship at bedtime

I like Baxter because Bug hopped out of bed this morning and got dressed in under 5 minutes- usually it is 15 minutes and I am pushing him along.  everything Bug did today and yesterday was fast so he could include Baxter.  I think Baxter needs to come visit more often.

Update on Grandpa- he continues to deteriorate.  But at this point, no news is good news.

I am off to finish up some work items.

Love and hugs,

Deb

I am not as strong as I pretend I am

my grandfather is dying.  it is very likely he will be gone by the end of this week.  I thought I was strong and prepared for this, but I am not.  Every time I have seen him over the last 2 years I have said good bye to him thinking it would be the last time I would ever see him alive.  I thought I could walk through this without allowing my emotions to become involved, that I could remain behind the wall I use for most things, that I could remain detached.  I took Bug shopping for clothes for the funeral to come, it was just a task to get thru.  I listened to my mom because she needed someone to talk to, but I had said my good byes.  Then today came and the overwhelming sadness and the need to go say good bye to my grandfather took over.  I went, I spent time holding his hand and I said my final good bye.  I saw first hand the affects of a severe brain damage from a fall- so severe that I can not image he has held on so long.  I saw my aunts and uncles joined together in the last vigil, the last thing they can do for their parent.  I saw 5 generations represented in one room.  I saw a man who is leaving this world to be in a much better place and I know that I will forever miss him.

June 2007: meaning Bug for the first time

Christmas 2007

Christmas 2008

Christmas 2009

Christmas 2010

5 generations in this one picture:-
 Generation 1: Grandpa Joe
Generation 2: Aunt J- mam's older sister (not pictured)
Generation 3: Missy- my cousin, just a few years older than me
Generation 4: Missy's son (not pictured)
Generation 5: Missy's grandson

This is 90 years of living, this 90 years of a good life. This is a life that will be missed.  I do not expect to see my grandfather alive again, the end is near.  I will be crying for him and I remember that I am not strong enough to distance myself from this pain, but I no longer want to build a wall between me and my emotions.


After seeing this, I did the only thing I could do, I took my mom shopping for clothes for her father's funeral.  And now I sit at home crying over the separation that is coming.

Please hold my family in your prayers and go hug your grandparents, parents, spouse, children and all your other love ones- time is short.

Love to you,
Deb

lazy Sunday

We had a pretty lazy Sunday: church, grocery shopping, taking the car to find out why the 'check engine; light came on, some game playing, a nap (due to the time change) and play time outside with Little M.

We are in big trouble tomorrow- it was 10 pm before Bug finally fell asleep tonight.  I have visions of him not waking up tomorrow morning.  I also have to take the car to the dealership for repair (again).  This time it looks like it is spark plugs or spark plug wires. 

Grandpa Joe continues to decline, I have started trying to explain it to Bug, but he does not understand but he is sad.  I am thinking it will happen early this week, but I thought the same with my grandmother and she held on.  It is hard knowing what is coming. 

I am off to bed, love and hugs

Deb

a busy start to a short weekend

Yesterday, we headed out to the farmers market.  The market moved back to the park, so Bug was a happy boy, playing on the playground.  Given that we had snow on Thursday and nearly 6 inches of rain over the last 2 weeks, the ground is saturated.  So he only got to play on some things since there was lots and lots of mud around. 

Today was a busy day.  It started with some shopping.  Grandpa Joe fell on Friday morning (early- around 2 am) and he is in the hospital.  Hospice has been called in.  for my non US readers, hospice is an organization that helps families and individuals through the end of life.    So Bug and I shopped for clothes for his funeral. I have been preparing for this for a few years.  It is hard, but at the same time, not unexpected.  Grandpa Joe will 90 on 23Mar, if he lives that long.  It is hard to say good bye, but he will be my grandma and with Jesus.  I feel the most sadness for my mom.  It can not be easy to loose a parent, and with my grandpa's passing, she will be an orphan. Though she has us (kids and grandkids), she will not have her parents.  My heart hurts for her.

After shopping, we headed over to J and N's house for a playdate.  We had lunch of homemade pizza, and homemade chocolate chip cookies.

We went to a park that overlooks the river.  Due to the rains, the river is 4 feet above flood level- the picture below should have dry ground up to the jut of land in the top left hand corner, but it is all under water.  There are 2 houses/buildings flooded down there- the specs in the middle of the water.

The boys loved climbing the building- Bug declared it "AWESOME".

Bug also loved playing with Crackers, N's dog.

He barely fits into this car.  too funny.

for more photos, you can head over to J's blog and see her pictures and comments on our playdate.


tonight we loose an hour of sleep and Bug is still wide awake- this is not a good.