reflections of a week as a mom of a teen and preschooler

Dear Momma of Princess tater tot (AKA future wife to Bug):

yes, this is the same ride on toy Cadillac that Bug has had since he came home. Yesterday

June 2007

I was trying to get him in the same pose, but he refused. I had seriously thought about getting rid of this you as Bug seemed to big for it. But he loves it, so it will go another summer/fall with us, although I don't think it will last through the winter. But I could be wrong.

In other news- Mariposa has been with us just over a week and I think I can see how life will be. She is a great young woman, she definitely loves Bug and he adores her. I think he sees Susy, Karla and Nigua in her and through playing with Mariposa, he is able to capture his girls once more.

But I see some of the sadness it has brought. He is starting to vocalize some feelings- tonight he is telling her that she must go away. So I think he can see the end of her stay and the emotions that it brings up are causing the emotions of leaving the girls to come back. I expected this, just not quite so soon.

Mariposa has already challenged on rule and got me to change it, but I think I have to hold fast to others. She challenged my reasoning for why she could only be on the computer in the living room when I could not see her computer screen and I back down because I did not have a good reply- the trials of being a non teenager parent. But friends have given me the reasoning.

homework is one area I will not back down on, it will be done at the table in the dinning room so that I can help and so that I know it is done.

But this is a give and take, Mariposa gives up somethings and I give up some things and we compromise on what will work in terms of how this family operates. Mariposa has not asked for anything that would be a challenge in terms of finding a compromise, so we are good.

Monday nights are "Doctor Diary" nights- this is a German TV show that we can watch on the computer. While I understand maybe 20% of the words, i get the story line and Mariposa translates the overall story line for me.

She is amazing, she left her family behind and is starting school on Monday. I think she is avoiding thinking too much about what Monday will bring, but she is having fun (I think). I am taking 1.5 days off this week to spend some time with her- Bug is staying home too- so we have plans to see some things in the city- the aquarium again, the ZOO (Bug's favorite), downtown, etc. We are going to be tourist in our own city.

I think once school starts, she and I will have better handle on schedules- right now she is a little lost during the day with nothing to do (although AFS volunteers have taken her out this week), so maybe with school to fill the bulk of her day, she will feel settled. I am still trying to figure out how to balance Bug's schedule with Mariposa's- he goes to bed at 8 pm, her actives end at 9 pm. Thankfully, other parents and I have been able to trade - I drive the teens to the activities and they pick them up. So far, this has worked perfectly.

So it is good right now and I expect that it will stay good and even get better. I like being a mom to a teen and preschooler- maybe Mariposa can stay????? Or maybe Nigua could come next year or maybe we'll host another student.

All I know is right now, Bug came to ask if he can go to Germany when he is big like Mariposa and could he stay for a year??? I had to tell him YES.

This is a good thing,

Love and hugs,

Deb