Swimming and flowers

We met up with N and his momma this morning for some fun at the pool.  Given the sub zero temps (with the wind chill), the waterpark was packed.  But the boys had fun.  Hijo really likes having someone to play with and becuase he had a freind, he got 1.5 hours in the pool.  Weo nly left becuase the boys moved back to the shallow end and the mommas got too cold.  If hte boys had let us stay in the deeper end, we might have stayed longer. 

N and his momma came over for lunch and play time.  I think the boys had a good time.   Hijo and I rested after they left and then headed out for some dinner and play time with Mam and Pap.  when we got home, there were 2 messages on my answering machine about a delivery that was dropped next door since I was not home.  I went next door, but they were gone, so I figured I find out tomorrow what was there.


 Just after I put hijo to bed, there was a knock at the door and my neighbor had these for me- FLOWERS!!!!
My dear friend S and her precious daughter T sent them to me.  WOW!!  Thanks so much. You did not have to send these, but I so appreciate them.  Hijo wanted to know why I was crying.  Thank you so much

Today was a good day and I am lookign forward to tomorrow being another good day.

Love and hugs,

Momma

Perhaps I should just stop celebrating my birthday???

This week has not been one of the best birthdays I can remember, it probably ranks down tthere with the year I ran away from my father as one of the worst birthdays ever.

father story: this is my bio father- he had us every other weekend/every weekend after the divorce- I can't remember at this point.  but in any case, he had us for my birthday.  My birthday was on Friday, I thought I would have some sort of celebration at his house as I was turing 16, but nothing was said on Friday, on Saturday he took us to the bar - as usual.  We sat and drank cokes and played pinball while he sat at the bar and drank all day.  At the end of the day, he handed me the keys to the pick up truck and asked me to start it.  It was parked on a hill, and was a stick shift truck.  yep, I nearly hit another car.  I was laughed at for not being able to start a pick up truck.  But no birthday cake, or card or anything.  Sunday morning came and I was sick of it.  He had sat up Saturday night and drank another case of beer, so he was hung over- I was tired of the weekends in the bar, weekends of drinking, weekends of him yelling at my grandmother.  I wanted out.  So I told him I would go get the Sunday paper off the steps and instead I ran away to the big Boy's resturant down the street, called my mom crying and begged her to come get me.  the waitress took pity on me and gave me a hot chocolate to drink while I waited.  My mom came and got me and took home and that night when my father dropped off my sister and brother, my father tried to tell me that he had a cake and party planned (lie) and that he would stop drinking (another lie).  I never spent another weekend with him. defintiely the worst birthday of my life.

This week, I have dealt with the drama of my niece.  She thinks I am hypocrite to stop seeing her and her girlfriend.  WHATEVER!!!  And today, I was asked at work until by a client "who authorized me to be off work between 4:30 pm- and 8 pm?".  I am not sure if the client was joking, but the realiy is that I put hijo to bed and collate the reports that have been running since 4:30 pm.  I work until 10 or 11 pm depending on the amount of data and then I lay awake in bed trying to turn off the adrendaline in my body and relax so I can sleep.  I am exhuasted, drained and now I am upset.  I put my heartand soul  into my work- I want to do my best, I don;t ever want to be viewed as slacker.  i go above and beyond what my in terms of pleasing the client.  I will work overtime to make sure deadlines are met, prviding extra data, running reports that otehrs can run.job requires.  Then to be aksed to work through the only hours I get with hijo during the week- that is the tipping point.  No more, never again for this client will I do more then is extactly what is spelled out in the cotract.scope of work.  It end here.

My parents and hijo took me out for dinner tonight, it was nice and I enjoyed, but in the back of my mind were the words the client said to me today, so I never relaxed and enjoyed the evening.  I can not wait for tomorrow night, becasue I am not running the reports, I am turning off both computers and I am not turning them back on until Monday morning.  I have reached my limit on stealing time from my hijo and from myself.  I am tired.  This all should end enxt Friday 05Feb- and I am counting hours until then.  I have a personal day planned on 12Feb and I am trying to plan the day so I can go get massage (I have a gift certificate)  either in the morning or evening.  Just something for me.  I would love to go away for a long weekend, but that is not in the budget.  I wish there were some cheap flights to Guatemala, because I would be on an airplane with hijo in a heart beat. 

This is really one of the worst birthdays I have had in my life.  I am hoping Sunday is better- that is the day the whole family is coming over and celbrating with cake and ice cream here.  It is suppose to be sunny (although below freezing), so I am grilling. perhaps the drama will be over and we can just hang out. 
That is what I miss working at home- the hanging out with work friends, the causual conversations.  I have too much quiet that allows me to ruminate on things in my mind. I need to find a lunch thing to do that gets me out of the house and talking to other adults. 

Have I said I am tired, have I said I need a vacation from the stress, have I said I miss Guatemala, have I said I hate cold, dark winters?  Yep- definitely in work overload and seasonal affective disorder mode here.  Spring is coming and I will feel better - I know it is coming, I know this stress will end, I know I will go back to enjoying my job, I know hijo is OK and that this period of intense work is not going to alter our family- it jiust feels bad at this moment.  But it will be alright.  I think I need to go buy lots of flowers tomorrow to help me feel better. Yep, flowers might do the trick.  They just might help break the depression and the darkness.

Hijo and I had bean soup for dinner.  Although looking at hijo's bowl, you might think he had crackers with some broth.   He still had this thing about sticking out his tongue- he thought this picture was great.  I think so too

This is him sleeping in his bed.  I actualy fear taking pictures of him in bed sleeping becuase I worry that he will wake up and then be awake for a while.  But he slept this time.  He always snuggles down like this.  This is the kid who would throw off his blankets last year.  This year, he looks like a bear all snuggled up.  Sometimes all I see is his hair sticking up.  He is so cute like this. 

I remember when he first come home, writing about the struggles and having another friend tell me that she would love to rock her baby all night long with her sleeping on her shoulder (I am wondering if Tami's mom will let me know how that is going now) and I felt guilty becuase when hijo went to bed, I just wanted to walk out of the room and be alone.  Now my feelings have changed completely- I love to walk in his room and watch him sleep.  I leave after 2-5 minutes at bedtime, so that he learns to go to sleep without me in the room, but I go back in through the evening, just to watch him and to stare at his sleeping face and ponder just how blessed I am to be his momma. I look at this face and wish I could hold this moment and capture it forever (isn't that what pictures are for?).  Love to watch him sleep.

Ok- I am done for tonight- lots of emotions running around in me tonight.  reports can't be run due to the system being down, so I should go to bed.

Love to you,
Momma

Update on changes in sleep habits/arrangemnets

As you all might remember, starting after Christmas, I began "operation take back momma's bed"  Also know as- hijo starts sleeping in his bed.  I thought you might like an update.

Hijo now sleeps in his bed.  his bedtime remains 8 pm with his wake up at 6:30 am the next morning.  The routinue is hugs and kisses, prayers, more hugs and ksses and then his night light is turned on and the overhead light is turned off.  I sit on the floor at this door for 2-5 minutes, although it is closer to 2 minutes at this time.  I get up, give him one more set of kisses and leave the room.  Hijo is always a awake when I leave, and that is it.  He does not scream, cry or carry on. 

I am pleasntly shocked and proud of how well it has gone given how bad it went last time I tried this.  But, then last week, I got one of my parenting magazines and it had an article on sleep issues and when are the worst and best times to change children's sleep habits. Guess what age is one of the absolute worst ages to change sleep habits????    yes, you are correct, right around age 2. right when hijo came home and went from sleeping in a bed with Popi and Mireya to sleeping in a crib in a room alone.  yea, I wish someone had written this article before hijo came home.  Then maybe he and I wuld not have struggled with bedtime for almost a year.  maybe then, he would not tell me that he does not like his bed, maybe then I could work on closing the door to his bedroom.  But we have made progress, he is sleeping in his bed, he sleeps through the night and I sleep through the night.

I guess that was the shocking part of this change, is that in the beginning, I could not sleep without him in the bed with me.  I woke up multiple times a night worrying, wondering.  It took 3 weeks before I took over the entire bed and slept soundly through the night. Who knew that getting back my bed would be so hard on my sleep habits too.

Hijo sleeping in his bed is a huge stress relief in this house, he sleeps better, I sleep better. We both have stopped dreading bed time. 

The next task to work on- getting him to sleep with his door shut so when I get up in the morning, he does not hear me.  I got up this morning, and knew he needed extra sleep, so I was going to work and then take him to Auntie Lulu's (Laura's) later.  He heard me and was up within 10 minutes of me getting up.  This happens all the time.  I don't get mornings alone- I'd like to try it, at least once. 

But, have I said, HE IS SLEEPING IN HIS BED!!!!!!!

I am off to sleep.

Love and hugs,

Momma

What does racism look like?

In our family it looks like the face of a 22 year old.  A 22 year old who was my niece, who told my sister that the reason she will not come around and the reason she does not want me at her birthday is becuase of my son- my 4 year old.  her words 'Tiffany's family do not believe in mixing races'. 

now to clarify- Tiffany is my neice's girlfriend.  Anyone see the irony of a lesbian neice stating that race is the reason for not accepting us.  I think it is the most ignorant comment I have ever heard.  But, that is me.  It urt like hell (yes, I said that), to have hijo tell me "Momma, Toffany hates me".  I feel sick to my stomach, close to tears all night for realization that hijo is 4 and facing racism. 

I know I can not protect him and he will face it, but from within the family, from some one who threw me a baby shower, who helped to care for him for almost a year- that I was not expecting.

But on the positive side, it started a dialogue and I can build a foundation so hijo knows how to handle situations like this  in the future. 

That's all for tonight- I think there has been enough drama for me and hijo for a while.

Love and hugs,
Momma

Wedding night

We spent Saturday night at a wedding of a dear friend.  Hijo had a great time.  I think I counted 20 kids at the wedding, so he definitely was not the only one.  Late in the evening, he allowed me to to dance with him- this is us dancing.  he is actually taking  a break from the more physical dancing he and N were doing. 

The lovely bride, N, with her son D (int he white shirt), N and hijo.  Hijo had had enough of pictures and was making a break for it.

A better shot.  I kept calling N, Princess N.  She definitely looked like a princess last night.

The 3 stooges

Watching the policeman on a horse right below the window where we were.  The horse fasincated the boys most of the night- they could see the carriages and they could see the ice skaters acorss the street.

Un beso por mu hijo

Dancing is hot, so you have to drink lots of water.  Hijo was downing water all night long.

Me and J. 

Walking up the aisle.  I have never seen a calmer, happier bride.  This was a complete celebration.

kissing the bride and D walking out after the ceremony.  he is so cute.

dancing fools.  they were on the dance floor all night. 

I heard that N was asleep in the car before they left the parkign garage- no the case with hijo.  But tonight, he was a sleep by 6 pm.  So clearly, he was worn out.

Love and hugs,

momma

wedding- teaser photos

We attended N's wedding tonight.  I am too tired to worte all about the fun we had, so I will just leave you with these pictures for tonight and then finish posting tomorrow.

Hijo danced with N (3 years old) most of the night.  N(bride) and her son D, N and hijo by the window.

it was great!!!!!


Love and hugs,
Momma

Where has the time gone?

we have done quite a bit of reading at our house this week.  I am reading some spy books, Hijo is reading a "CARS" book.  Yesterday, he sat with a magazine and marked pages with stickies so I could look at them.  

Somewhere along the days, my little baby has become a little boy.  He wants to read and he recognizes letter, numbers, he counts to 10  in English and Spanish.  he knows his colors in English and Spanish.  he response to questions in English and Spanish.  I guess it is time.

Today, I visied the last school before deciding on which school hijo will start attending in the Fall.  Our schools start in August, to help Popi and the grils understand.  The school year is late August to lateMay/early June.  Hijo will start school 5 days after his birthday.

After visiting the last school today, I made the decision- actually I made it before I left the building.  Hijo will attend the catholic school near us.  While I am not a practicing catholic and we attend a protestant church in the area, this school is the best for hijo and our family.

1. It is small- the class ratio is about 1 teacher to 15-20 students (neighborhood school is 1 teacher to 35-40 kids)
2. There is more diversity - I think abou 20% non caucasian students (our neighborhodd school is 99% caucasian)
3. the school is determining if foriegn language is going to be offered at the kindergarten- 4th grade level.
4. The teachers and administrative staff is so friendly and so outgoing
5. Kindergarten is all day- versus 2 hours at our neighborhood school.  So hijo will go to school from 8 am - 2:30 pm.  There is nap time included, so that is good.
6. We have freinds who work in the building
7. the school is 1.5 miles from our house so hijo will be able to ride the bus for free- there are no sidewalks to his school from our house and there is no way I would allow him to walk to school.
8. It is a small school.


This is the best choice I could make for hijo and I am excited for him to start school.  But, I am also struck by how fast the time has passed since we became a family.  I can clearly remember how far away school seemed when he first came home- how I looked out across 3 years and thought that this year would never come.  Now it is here- we are about 7 months from school starting.  Where did the time go? Then I look over at my sleeping boy and I see the years- I see the baby who now is a little boy- who is thriving, who has this insasible (spelling?) to learn.  My job now is to prepare him for school, to keep the flame of education alive in him, to fuel his desire to succeed in school, to prepare to release him to the larger world. 
I am happy and sad at the same time.

I think, I am going to be one of those moms who cries the entire first day, I am going to be the one who has a hard time letting him walk into his classroom and leave him behind.  I know this transition will be hard for me, but I also know it is going to be hard for him.  I am alrady thinking of what I need to do for this transition.
1. I need to be off work on the first 2 days of school
2. I need to see if I can get out of any work travel for the first 4 months of school.  I just think that hijo will do better with me home every day after school, getting him up each morning- just getting us into a routinue.  I need to talk to my boss about this.  it might not be possible, but I am praying that come August, I have 4 months of no travel for work, just to help hijo transition.

I just keep thinking, "it was just a few days ago that he came home, how can it be time to send him to school?" 

Is this feeling normal- do you look at your kids and wonder how the time has just flown by?  It is not just hijo's time that I look at, this year marks 7 years I have been back home- I am almost at the point where I have been home just as long as I lived in Michigan.  The time in Michigan seemed slower- marked by visits home, the time here seems to have flow by.

Where has the time gone? I miss the baby- I do- even with some of the stuggles we have gone through.  But, I know I love this age in hijo so muc more then the baby stage and I am looking forward to the man he will become, I just want to hold this time a little longer- to make time stand still just a moment longer.  To hold this little boy close, knowing that soon, I will be letting him go.  How did this happen so fast?

Can I have back the 21.5 months that we were not together?  can I have those back but not have to give up the time he had with Popi and the girls?  Can I stop time? 

Can I hang on to my hijo just a little longer?  Is there a way to hold on and to let go at the same time?  There must be, becuase my mom did it with me?  maybe she will share the secret with me, but I think I know it already: " if you love someone, let them go".  Becuase love comes back.  So I ma preparng to let him go out into the world, praying that my love will bring him back.  My baby, mu hijo, my little boy, my little man, my son.

Love and hugs,
momma

I got nothing for you tonight

Just ranting and venting some.

Some days, it is just not worth it to work at home.  I hear you all laughing at me- stop now.  What I mean is that while I love working at home- there is a a little issue of seperation- work is always here- the computers (home and work) always connec to the work servers.

For eexample, it is pretty intense at work right now, I have a deadline on 05Feb.  I need to run reports tonight and each night until 04Feb. But, I have a choice, I can sit at my work computer and run reports for 2 hours and then work another 2 hours collating the data into a spreadsheet or I can sit on the couch and run the reports on my home computer.

option 1 means I sitting at my desk for anotehr 4 hours a day- my back to the house.  Option 2 allows me to watch some TV while the reports run, maybe fold laundry (I said maybe).  I choose option2 becucase at least then I feel like I have a physical break from work.  Unfortunately, the reports take 1 hour to run each and then they fail.  So I will have to sit at my desk each night.

If I worked in an office, no one would expect me to come back into work after my son goes to sleep- it would be accepted that I would run the reports in the morning.  Working at home, there is an unspoken expectation that I run reports in the evening and get the work done.

So for the next 2 weeks, instead of semi relaxing on the couch in the evenings, I will be focused on the computer on my desk, working to get reports run in the evening so that the spreadsheet can go out to the team in time for European team members to see it in the morning their time.

All I know at this point is that I see at least one personal day coming in Feb where hijo and I go away from the house (for the weekend) and I leave the computer behind.  Now to figure out where to go that does not cost me an arm and leg- cause Guatemala sounds perfect (althoughnot affordable at this point- dang airfare).

Off o read emails and relax.  As hijo says - hasta pasta!!!!

Momma

Update on Hoarding- an emotional thing

To answer some comments-

My hoarding is not based in preparing for a riany day or a stormy day- in fact it is quite the opposite.  If I just had my needs plus a little more, then I might say I was being prepared.  but mine is diffierent.  It is an emotional need to look in a cabinet and see food and then choosing not to eat it, forcing me to throw it away at a later date.

The food I found Sunday night had been in my cabinet for over a year in some cases- I had condiments in my fridge that I bought 5 years ago- never opened.

This is a need to say that I can provide for myself, that I will not go hungry, that I will never be at the point I was at a a child. 

it is not healthy- it is not being a good steward of my resources, it is not teaching hijo to be prepared or to live with what he has.  It is a emotional, scared child response.  I need to break it.

So by reorganizing, I can recognize it for what it is and I can deal with it.  I have a weekly menu for us, I have rewards for eating at home all in the hopes that doing this through the work week will help me to use the food I have stored and will teach me to not be wasteful.

On the plus side, I save money by using what I have, I save money by not eating out and I and Hijo eat healthier.

I am a work in progress, so this is a good thing for me.

And to be clear- I am not one of the folks that runs to the store before a winter storm or other weather related events. 

Love and hugs,
Deb

more playing at the park- second post of the evening

I posted a note before this post, so if you want to see that one, scroll downHijo and I head out to the park after work today.  yes, I had to work on a federal holiday.  I keep saying that I need to move to another country where I get more holidays, but the truth is that I love America, so right  now, I have no hlidays until May unless I take a vacation day. 

Back to the evening.  Hijo and I, once agan, had the park to ourselves.  I can't say I blame other parents, I thought it was 40-50F out there today based on the weather reports I saw last night, but it was 33F!!!  That is just above freeezing!!!!!  YIKES and DOUBLE YIKES!

But hijo needed playtime and I knew I could bundle us up.  so we headed out.  With no snow on the ground, the park was perfect.We played "phone" and we played Dora (the grumpy old troll).  Hijo is a great at riddles.  We played for about 30 minutes before both of us were commenting that our faces were cold.  So we headed home, me to fix dinner and hijo to take a bath to warm up.

This is a picture of Pap "resting" yesterday.  He was worn out from playing with hijo.  HEHEHEHE.


Hijo came up with this new saying for us- we usually leave my sister's house saying things like "see you later, alligator" or "see you soon, baboon".  well, hijo started staying "hasta, pasta".  I thought he picked it up from cousin Jas, they thought I taught it to him, but no- he thought it up himself.  he is so intelligent. Mi hijo es muy inteligente y mas guapo.


Well, as mi hijo dice- hasta pasta,

momma

gratitude:
I am grateful for fears not realized.   I have been facing a looming deadline and the possibility that I would be working 16 hour days for the next 3 weeks.  That would mean putting hijo to bed and then logging back into the work computer and working until 11 pm.  I have been there, done that- just 2 summers ago.  It is not fun, I become anxious about missing deadlines and that translates into stress, lack of sle

hoarding- an emotional need

pictures of hijo in the post after this one, becuase I needed 2 posts tonight.

I have working on reorganizing the kitchen this month- a little at a time.  I am turning a half closet into a pantry and freeign up cupboard space.  It is amazing how much room I need for new items since hijo came home.  I know he will soon be using all adult stuff- but I can keep that up high if I expect him to set the table.  So half the plates and cups are in the cabinets I use for bowls and lids for my pots and pans.

back to topic.  As I was cleaning out the largest cupboard, it struck me that I have quite a lot of staples- so much so that I really don't need beans, pasta, rice and potatoes for a long time.  But at the same time, I realize that I could go to the store right now and still come home with the same staples, becuase I feel I need them.

Why do I feel this need to hoard staples?  Well, upon reflection, it is because food was scarce when I was younger- before my bio father and mom divorced.  My bio father would take the monthly pay check and go spend it at the bar on pay day.  So my mom got good at stretchin our food budget.  I really don't remember going without and that is a testament to my mom's thriftiness, but I remember having scrambled eggs for dinner often, I remember dinners of popcorn becuase that was all we had.  I remember dinners of dehydrated meat bought at the base commissary (my bio father was a career army man). 

I think my hoarding is a way to show that I will not have to endure dinners of scrambled eggs or popcorn unless I want them.  The full to the brim cupboards is my way of showing the inner child me that I can provide for myself better then my bio father could provide for his family.

The downside- the food typically expires before I eat it, becuase it is really there for show.  his reorg has shown me somehing I need to work on.  It is ok to have this food, but more importantly hijo and I need to eat the food.  I don't want to pass on hoarding tendancies to him.

So te plan- eat more meals and resist stocking up on staples until we actually need more staples.

Love to you,
Momma

"Be a Man"

Hijo loves this song.  he would listen to it all day, all night.  the song is from Mulan- the Disney movie.  I am not allowed to listen to the radio in the car, except on very rare occassions. 

Hijo has decided he wants to be "Shang' AKA tough guy for Halloween.  Which is really hijo's way of telling me he wants Santa to hurry up and come again. Too funny.


Gratitude:
I am grateful for opportunities to step outside of my comfort zone.  Yes, it is hard, yes it can be scary at times, but going where God is leading is never easy, but always rewarding.  So yesterday, I stepped outside my comfort zone, following an awesome who has great things planned for this city.  My fear disappared with the smiles of kids and the joy they have praising God.  My God took my fear and showed me his joy.  I am grateful for fears never realized and joy revealed.

Love to you,
Momma

playing in the fog this morning

We headed out for a walk this morning.  I "forced" hijo to take his bike out.  he really was not happy, he wanted to take his moto instead.  But, as I suspected, his legs have gotten much stronger and his motor skills are much improved and he was able to pedal right away.  he did not like pedalling, and complained about it after 5 minutes, but with continued practice, byt the time Spring comes, he will be able to ride his bike with M across the street.

We headed out this evening to help with the church being started in the hispanic neighborhood of our city.  Hijo and I worked in the children's church area.  I was very happy at how well hijo did.  the music and lesson were in Spanish and hijo got the gist of the lesson.  That makes me happy.  He also was content to share me with other kids, so that is a huge improvement for him.  We were at church for about 3 hours and it is 30 minutes each way, so it was a long time for us to be outsideof our comfort zone.  But the kids were great, such smiles.

Hijo and I had a good itme and we are looking forward to our next time serving at the church.

Love and hugs,

Momma

Helping Haiti- ways you can too

Today, one of my friends shared this link with me.  Please go over and see how you can help.

http://www.moneysavingmom.com/money_saving_mom/2010/01/help-for-haiti-everyone-can-do-something.html


so far for us, I have done the following:

cleaned out closets- extra blankets and clothes readyt o be taken to the donation site tomorrow
Made a donation on the Compassion International website
I will be picking up items this weekend and through the week- tooth brushes, oTC meds, etc to donate too.

There are lots of ways to help.

Love and hungs

Playing at the Park- finally above freezing here

We headed out to the park this evening.  Yes there is still snow on the ground and yes it looks like hombrecio is not dressed warm enough, but it was almost 50F outside and I knew he would be running around.  He had on fleece lined pants, 2 shirts and his jacket.  He was warm. 

In any case, the park was lovely- we had the playground to ourselves (as expected).  Hombrecito played for about 15 minutes and then we took a walk to find the ducks.  But the ducks were probably sleeping in their nest because we never saw them.  After our walk- about 15 minutes, hombrecito was done. 

We headed back to the car, then to dinner and then home.  He fell asleep in 10 minutes tonight.  I am so thankful that the weather this weekend will be warm and sunny too.  We both need to see the sun and to be outside.  My entire outlook was better after being out today with him.

I have decided after typing this, that I disklike hombrecito.  So I think I will refer to him as mi hijo or hijo.  I like it much better. rolls off my fingers much easier too as I type.

Also, if the exchange student and her friends and family find this blog, I will go private, so fingers crossed that they never find it, as I like being out in the larger blogging world with our adventures.

I have missed a bunch of gratitude days and rather than catch up - I am just going to strat again.

I am grateful for the lives spared in Haiti, I am grateful that I live in a country that can send aid to those who need help.  I am grateful that I have more than enough, that I can give to aid those who don't.  That sounds crass- but the reality is that I live in one of the richest countries in the world- most of what I have in my house is a "want" not a "need".  by giving up my wants I am able to help others with their needs. I stood in front my closet this evening, putting away clothes, mentally ticking off what is leaving the closet this weekend to go to Haiti.  there are a number of places I drop items off.  I counted 5 blankets in my closet alone, there are 3 more in hijo's room, another 4 in the spare bedroom, there are clothes that can go, shoes that can go, etc.  These are all things I thought I needed, but I really just wanted them.  I am grateful for the ability to help others and I am grateful I see my excess as something I can give away.  Tomorrow is pay day at my house, I will be looking at what we can do without, so I can make some donations to charities - becuase my money is just as needed by others as are my things.

What makes me sad about myself and my choices, is that if I had made better choices in the last few years, I would have more to give away- but I am grateful I have what I have now to give away.  It is not about my wants- it is about their needs.

Love to you,

Momma

Oh yea, I changed my moniker too.

Why the move

It might be a few days before I get pictures posted again- all the old posts are here, so yu should have access to them.

Bu here is the reason for the new blog.

1. I check stats on my blogs regularly.  Last night I saw that 5 users (IP addresses) in F.rankental G.ermany had downloaded pictures from my blog.  One of the IP addresses linked back to the company where the exchange student's father works.  When I looked at the downloads- they were all pictures taken and posted after after the exchange student left my home.  In fact all the pictures were of Christmas celebrations and were picture of Little man (hombrecito) and myself (Big Moma).
Typically the only downloads I have on the blog are from friends in Guatemala, so this was unusually.  Also unusual were the fact that he downloads all occurred on Sunday.
2. So I locked the old blog and moved here.

I want to leave the blog open.  I cann't back and edit all the old posts to remove our names, but I can limit how someone can get here.

So at this point- my son is "hombrecito" and I am "Big moma". 

I ask that do no share this link with anyone at this time- you can refer them to me at my email address
d a c _ c i n c y @ y ahoo . com (removal the spaces)

I really don't want to have to password prtoect the blog- it limits the number of folks who can be readers.  And my mom can't figure out how to do passwords in blogger so it will be hard for her.

As I watch stats on the blog, I may loosen my request to not give out my new blog address.  I am not sure what blogs the exchange student is watching at this point.


my love to you all,
Big Moma.

Totter Otterville or my red nose boy

Bug and I headed over to Totter Oterville yesterday. it is sill too cold outside for us to be out for long periods and I thought playing inside would be better.

Totter Otterville has all this fun stuff for the kids to do and I expected to be there for a few hours, but it turned into 4 hours. Bug would have stayed longer but he had not eaten lunch, refused anything at Totter Otterville, and was nearing a meltdown. So we left after 4 hours. This is my red nosed Nene. He decorated his face at the makeup area- set up like a backstage area.

see- he is too cute!!!

We had some fun at the water table. I think I am the only parent who thinks to bring a change of clothes for their kid. I saw more kids walking into this area with socks on- there is water all over the floor. Lots of kids with shirts and pants totally soaked. I know I am only bug's parent and other parents make different choices, but with temperatures below 10F outside with the wind, there is no way I was going to let Bug walk around in wet clothes. So I took shorts, tee shirt and water shoes. Bug was happy, I was happy and then he got to put his warm dry clothes back on.
Bug played mail man for a long time. He found some letters for some special people:

This is the letter to Popi and Mireya.

Here is Nigua's letter

This is Susi's letter

This is Karla's letter. The interesting thing, he brought the letters to me without any prompting on my part and he handed me Karla's letter first. This is probably the first time that I have not had to prompt him for something for Karla. I guess since she was always the picture taker, he would forget her. I am glad that he names each of the girls.

He did some block sorting and conveyor belt controlling. This is probably his favorite part of the place after the water table.

Telling me that more blocks were coming. My job is to pull them out of the chute and send them over to the kids in the bins.

The highlight of the trip - the bathroom!!!! Bug forgets the bathroom has kids sized toilets and sinks. He gets so excited about being able to reach everything.

And of course there was train playing. Bug had a train that stretched the length of the train table.

There was a magician at Otterville and he had a white bunny "snowball". Bug was a little scared to touch it, but once I did it and reported how soft it was- he was very happy to pet the bunny.Bug had a great time in the ball pit. This is the first time he really wanted to go into it and the first time I had a hard time getting him out.

Practicing being a good daddy- pushing the baby and going shopping.

love and hugs,

Deb