Monday, January 18, 2010

hoarding- an emotional need

pictures of hijo in the post after this one, becuase I needed 2 posts tonight.

I have working on reorganizing the kitchen this month- a little at a time.  I am turning a half closet into a pantry and freeign up cupboard space.  It is amazing how much room I need for new items since hijo came home.  I know he will soon be using all adult stuff- but I can keep that up high if I expect him to set the table.  So half the plates and cups are in the cabinets I use for bowls and lids for my pots and pans.

back to topic.  As I was cleaning out the largest cupboard, it struck me that I have quite a lot of staples- so much so that I really don't need beans, pasta, rice and potatoes for a long time.  But at the same time, I realize that I could go to the store right now and still come home with the same staples, becuase I feel I need them.

Why do I feel this need to hoard staples?  Well, upon reflection, it is because food was scarce when I was younger- before my bio father and mom divorced.  My bio father would take the monthly pay check and go spend it at the bar on pay day.  So my mom got good at stretchin our food budget.  I really don't remember going without and that is a testament to my mom's thriftiness, but I remember having scrambled eggs for dinner often, I remember dinners of popcorn becuase that was all we had.  I remember dinners of dehydrated meat bought at the base commissary (my bio father was a career army man). 

I think my hoarding is a way to show that I will not have to endure dinners of scrambled eggs or popcorn unless I want them.  The full to the brim cupboards is my way of showing the inner child me that I can provide for myself better then my bio father could provide for his family.

The downside- the food typically expires before I eat it, becuase it is really there for show.  his reorg has shown me somehing I need to work on.  It is ok to have this food, but more importantly hijo and I need to eat the food.  I don't want to pass on hoarding tendancies to him.

So te plan- eat more meals and resist stocking up on staples until we actually need more staples.

Love to you,
Momma

1 comment:

  1. Deb, Actually stocking up, or having a food storage, is a really good thing. Then you don't have to rush out when a bizzard is coming, or if there is some sort of food recall. Our church teaches us to have a food storage...for many reasons. So don't beat up on yourself. :0)

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