Some more thoughts on storm clouds

Just thinking out loud here - running it all through my head and laying it out where I can see it.

Buying a new car is not what I want to do- I really like my current car. There is nothing wrong with my car, it gets excellent gas mileage, it is in good condition, it really has held up. Yes, I had to put a new transmission in it- but apparently that is something that should have been covered in a class action suit- but the car is more than 10 years old, excluded me from the suit even though my mileage was well within the limit.

If I bought a new or used car- I would have a car payment and higher insurance- let's figure a total of $500.00 per month to cover both. That is $6000.00 per year not including the higher license cost and anything else that might be associate that I am forgetting.

Bug's daycare cost are currently more that the figure above, so realistically I can not afford a new/used car until Bug is in school full time- our budget cannot take the impact.

Our current car is 12 years old with less than 88,000 miles on it. It was previously owned by my parents. It has been in 1 accident. I have not had a car payment for 3 years now. If I could get another 2-3 years out of it and save the money that I am currently paying for Bug's daycare- then I could afford a new car in 2-3 years.


But my feeling of storm clouds gathering is not just based on the car situation- it is based on being a single mom (heck, for that matter being a parent in general) and seeing things looming in our future that might have a huge impact on our household. Things like:
1. A new roof for the house- ours is somewhere between 15-20 years old
2. I new AC/furnace- ours is almost 30 years old
3. Private school for Bug- because I will not put him in the local school for personal reasons
4. anything else that might come up

We live a comfortable life, I should be more disciplined about my budget - but I have been fairly nonchalant about our budget.

There were some changes today in my thoughts on this:
1. I don't need a new car- as much as unexpected expenses for our current car bug me, they really are nothing compared to a new car payment and higher insurance.
2. My roof got a clean bill of health today when the insulation was installed (pictures tomorrow). The installers are also roof installers and they said my roof was in great shape- and yes they were looking at in detail while installing some additional vents.
3. The company that services my AC/furnace has indicated that with regular maintenance my AC and furnace will be fine for many more years (my first house had a furnace over 50 years old that ran fine)

So I think my anxiety is just the fear of the unknown and the realization that I need to make some smaller changes to our budget- like actually put one together, so that we can have more a savings in case something comes up.
Small changes can lead to big savings- I know this. A little here, a little there and suddenly things are headed in a better direction.

So here is to little changes that lead to bigger changes that lead to feeling more at peace.

I should point out that if I were married, I think that I would be saying these fears to my partner and we would have a plan together for what to do. but as single, my fears are mine alone. There is no one to talk them through with- so they circle around and around in my mind become bigger and bigger and I then I operate out of fear. And I make unwise choices. I need to make choices from wisdom, from peace, from strength. Bug needs the wiser choices and a momma who recognizes when she is operating from fear.

I know that I make mistakes and I am not perfect- that there will be times when I do operate from fear. I need to be able to step back and see the whole picture, to see the options open before me and recognize the pros and cons of each choice.

It is hard, very hard, but it will be OK. Knowing what is triggering my fear helps me work through the fear and see more clearly.

So that is all for today. Tomorrow- back to pictures of Bug and pictures of the installation of insulation.

Love to you,
Deb